OFFICER BAYO

Naso o for Obubra camp, dem worry me taya. Dats how on my first day in camp, one soldier just saw me as I was struggling to carry my bag into the camp ground, he nor pity me o, started by asking which state I’m from, and who I was talking to on the phone, I nor understand, (so somebody canor make call again ni?) so I responded “it’s my mom sir”, he said eerrh, ‘Oya drop da call now and run inside the camp with your bags on your head’! 
His command was sharp. I den flashed back to the testimonies of people about how soldiers flogged them, naso I silently concur and ran inside with my plenty luggage, one on my head and two in my both hands. 

The female soldiers dey trip me I swear. They’re so gallant and agile in their uniforms. Their ginger is dope. I can imagine their husbands dare not raise a finger else he’ll be taught the lesson of his manhood.
Their voice alone fit make person piss for body. I kon enta wahala o, there was this particular soldier

“Officer Bayo” he wee nor let me rest. The only thing I liked about him was his bow-legs which gave him swag when he marched. But he too like girls! Chai! Naso he disturb all the fine fine babes for camp, jumping from one babe to another. 
He’ll leave his platoon just to coman look for my trouble in my platoon, one day he invited me over 
to mammi. I thought of what to do so as a “sharp waffi babe”, I say make I flex small. Naso I invite some of my babes o, we enter mammi, officer Bayo kon order drinks and chicken full table, we kon dey chow, as we finish Nai we Commot o! 
Next morning we hear say Bayo high soté he loose-guard, he lost his phone. Wo! “Officer-on-duty” you see yoursef! Another young soldier was corporal Cynthia. She doesn’t know how to March o, But anytime we just make small mistake, she wee say “Everybody go DOWN”! Na only that command she sabi.

One very popular commander was commander “Rambo” many didn’t know his name, only knew him as “NONSENSE, ALL OVER! When he screams “Nonsense” we respond “All over” and to whatever he says, our response should only be “Yes sir”! Even when he says “Am I mad”, we respond “Yes sah”! 
Celebrated his birthday in mammi, and it was a blast! Bottles of Andre wine were rolling on the ground as corpers supported him in celebrating. 
Our plattoon commander Sir Usman, was very nice and friendly. I can recall one of his songs he usually sang to boost our morale, it goes: “Amina lé-lé-lé-lé, Amina lé, (we reply) indósà âmatà. He would be holding a stick and be making funny demonstrations while singing. But then, the guy strict too o, he knows how to treat our f*ckup.

I remember how he made us kneel and crawl round the field with our elbows on the dusty ground because we didn’t come to the parade ground on time. We apologized and promised not to repeat it again but our white and white became unrecognizably brown. His march past was dope, the way he did the slow march with his bow-legs perfectly without flaw, e be like say make I join military.
The guy worry me sha! Just because he knew I could march very well, he put me in the ‘special marching group’, I tried escaping cos I nor won dirty my khaki on our pass-out day, I decided to hide, this man Waka from place to place just to find me on that day and he eventually did, dragged me out, and fixed me in a line. (Abi na by force to March?) 

Our plattoon girls wee nor allow him to rest especially one girl called…. with her big breasts, jumping upandan! Mthcheew! 
In the evening you’ll see them sitting round table with him, I dunno what they are even discussing. Mthcheew! Girls sef! 

Typing…Lemme tell you about my PPA. Next post…
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