HER RAPE STORY

There’s been so much buzz and fuss about RAPE and seeing the way some men justify this atrocious act is appalling.

I’ve had ‘fights’ with many in my dm claiming that rape is caused by indecently dressed ladies.

And my stand remains rape is caused by RAPISTS!

Asides all of those arguments, I’d like to share this story – A session I had with one of my mentees.

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Here’s Ada’s story: P.S: (Not real names)

After close of business that day, her aunt asked

her to take some items into the warehouse which was not so far from their shop. It was around 7pm.

Aunty was a close friend to Ada’s mom and she had a son Joseph whom they nicknamed Ada’s ‘husband’. They all shared the same neighborhood and in their compound everyone teased Ada as Joseph’s wife. Whenever she passed by, they usually teased thus: “Joseph, see your wife o” ….it was a mere tease.

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Now Joseph was 25 while Ada was 12. Regardless of the teasing, Ada saw him as his big brother but hell no! On the flip-side, at a glance, all ‘Big brother’ could see in his head was Ada’s ‘hole’.

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So on that fateful day, the bowl of plates with which her mom sells food sat easy on her head as she took them to the warehouse which happened to be dark and quiet, afar from the shop. She was shocked to see that Joseph had followed her in; standing there facing him, he pushed off the bowl on her head while trying to force her down.

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Ada was still in her school uniform as she had come straight to her mom’s shop after school. She began to shout but his restraining was stronger as he held her down, spread open her legs and penetrated her with his hand covering her mouth.

When he finished, Ada now was weak and tearing terribly.

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He knelt down and began to plead her forgiveness. She threatened reporting to her aunt – his mom who was waiting for her to return from the errand at the warehouse, and also to report to her mom as well.

He intensified pleading and held her back from running to her aunt. He said to her:

These were his word to her.

He cleaned her body, dusted off the dirt and walked behind her as she returned to her waiting auntie.

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Ada walked back in fear and pity. She was confused.

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Seeing her after a long while of waiting, aunt queried:

If she was alone with her auntie, Ada would have spilled, but she wasn’t, Joseph was right there staring her in the face, communicating pity and threat with his eyes.

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Ada, turned and looked at him, and her response to her auntie was – “Nothing”.

Observing the look between both, the aunt turned to Joseph and asked:

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Without further questioning, Ada’s aunt turned away, and they all left for home.

For fear of being blamed or scolded, Ada never mentioned the details of the rape to anyone, not even to her mother.

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She only shared her experience with her best friend in school who was also suffering the same molestation. In her case, she was constantly being molested by the husband of the family where she serves as a house help. She too was scared, to report the man to his wife because she feared being blamed and or sent packing; she told no one except Ada.

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We had the discussion over a pot of isiewu and soft drinks, as I had taken her on a somewhat relieving outing. She spilled. She confided in me what she never mentioned to her own mother. As I listened to her, I saw tears run down her cheeks copiously. She couldn’t hold it in. The whole incident replayed afresh in her memory, and no matter what, such hurt and scar can never be erased.

This is what rape victims are left to deal with for the rest of their lives; an indelible scar over a momentary pleasure!

Now tell me, what was her crime??? Indecency? No! She was only 12.

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Those of you parents who “wife” and betroth your female wards before they are of the age to know what that means, this is the consequences of “YOUR WIFE” / “YOUR HUSBAND”!

Like I’ve always said to my sisters and mentees, don’t you ever reverence a man so much so that you trust them totally at a glance!

Some Men do not know the difference between a little girl, an adolescent girl, a lady and a woman. No they don’t! All they see is the hole in between her legs. For them, as far as you have that, you are RIPE!

When they look at you, the first thing they see is your gender and how they can pleasure in it.

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When I was much younger and had older men chase me, I used to ask myself: “But he’s old enough to have me as his child” … This is an error! Men don’t reason this way. As far as you have the needed organs to satisfy their urge – that thing in between their legs is a respecter of NO AGE! That is why a 70yr old man can marry a 16year old girl; regardless of whether he has a child her age.

Remember the famous Ned Nwoko and Regina Daniels.

So I’d always advise this to any young girl: DON’T you ever for once think that because he’s faaaaaar older than you, he’s incapable of taking a second look at your body. As a matter of fact, that is the FIRST thing he does!

Hence do not shut your mind to reality;

·      even if he’s your fathers close friend,

·      Even if he’s 99yrs old,

·      even if he’s a pastor, priest or bishop,

·      even if he’s your God father;

Expect the worse, expect that this man can:

·      ask me out,

·      he can get erections because of me,

·      he sometimes imagines himself on top of me,

·      he doesn’t see me as his child,

·      he doesn’t see himself as my father’s age,

·      he sees me as his equal,

·      he see me as his prey!

·      He sometimes glances at my BOOBS and my BUTT; imagines my NIPPLES in his mouth and my butt clasped in his palms.

·      He sometimes imagines what it’ll feel like penetrating me;

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These are his wild thoughts which you as a lady, younger or older, need to be able to decipher every time you look at a man. He has no control over them in his head, but he does have control of his actions!

Rape can only be prevented by the RAPIST!!!

Educate your boys!!!

Any thoughts please???

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