“HANGRY” MISTRESS

So famished I had to locate the nearest fast food; simply because I was hoping the food would arrive fast!
Branched off at a nearby outlet, the regular one where they unlawfully wed the noodles with eggs…. yeah – ‘michai’!

It was a long wait at the ‘michai’ shop. All the worms in my stomach became so disrespectful and cruel, oh they lost their conscience!
Dunno why she was taking long to prepare simple ‘indomie’ and eggs. Common indomie o! SMH!

A Sunday it was, no other close options, so I was left with the only option of waiting! At first she came tossing ‘upandan’ looking for her match box to put on her gas cooker, then she remembered her vegetable oil just ran out! She’ll have to buy from nearby.
Oh my goodness!

I looked up to the heavens, and down at my stomach, Twas as if an acidic content was poured into my stomach… it was hot and empty!
I became automatically annoyed at whatever met my eyes. Oh quite true – “A hungry man is indeed an Angry man.

 After few wasted minutes of tossing, she began the process. Alleluia!
I guess that’s what happens when a “Calabar chef” takes your order instead of the ‘Michai’ gurus – the Mallams.
“Fast food” became so slow, even the ‘SNAIL’ was angry that it now had a competitor!

Incompetence!

But what can a “HANGRY” lady do? I was indeed patient, as ten minutes later became twenty five; And finally, the meal arrived!

Served like a bride waiting to meet her groom; it was placed on the table before me, with the fried eggs resting the noodles in peace! The noodles was buried underneath, with the fried eggs spread upon it like a white duvet covering a cold lady.
It was very attractive. I removed the tray of food from the table and placed it on my laps. Yes, I needed to feel it in my bossom. Lol

After a short prayer, I pounced on the food  like a hungry lion. Only God understood the kinda prayer I mumbled under my almost exhausted breath. Because even me, I didn’t hear myself pray! lol

As soon as I started eating, I noticed there was this guy beside me, a Corper tho, he was on his phone chatting on instagram and viewing videos but he was stealing glances at me.

What’s your problem nigga! (Rolling my eyes)

When I noticed, I smiled at him and he responded:
– “Babe this your food make sense o”… I chuckled and replied…

-“Come join me na”. (Feigning a smile).

In my thinking, I didn’t mean the invite oh, never knew this guy took it so seriously.  He immediately requested for a fork from the shop-owner, and joined my meal. WTF!
Nevertheless, We started digging the meal together. I was calm.

But if he had shown some courtesy, I for nor vex. This guy not only pounced on my food, he actually divided the fried egg spread on the noddles into two, just as Moses divided the red sea, and he ate one half, leaving me with the other.

For my own food again! My goodness!

After exhausting his own portion of ‘MY’ meal, he quietly applied the ‘withdrawal method’ and withdrew from the digging. He requested for one “pure water” and gulped it. I was looking at him… Where the F are you from? I said to myself.

Then he said… “Babe thanks o”.

I didn’t even respond well, I jus dey look the guy.

He then went back to Instagram and continued. On my part, me too after eating, relaxed for a while and began pressing my phone, data was on, so I got a notification from Instagram. Twas a message; so I quickly checked…

The message was from one Emeka guy, I quickly ran through his pictures since his name wasn’t familiar; and guess what?

He is the same person I was sitting beside – the guy who had almost finished my food a short while ago. OMG

I was looking at this guy as he was still sitting beside me, seriously sending me messages on Instagram.
The funniest part?… This guy didn’t know I was the same person he was chatting with on Instagram. 

See me staring at him. Don’t even know what to say to him.
If you were me what would you do?

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